Jeremy Renner - S.W.A.T
Did you hear that? That was the sound of my panties exploding off my body.
MYSTERIOUS EXPLODING UNDERWEAR ALL OVER THE WORLD
Scientists are baffled by the recent spat of self-combusting undergarments. Despite exhausting testing, no cause has been found. All brands, fabrics, and types have exploded, leaving wearers feeling hot and bothered.
Some argue that the cause is simple male hotness overload. "It’s that damn picture," The Fashionable Sassy Cupcake wrote on her blog. "Jeremy Renner with a gun and dog tags in his teeth should be illegal."
Doctors frown at such conclusions, worried that people might self-medicate or, worse, choose to believe the idea, leading to a spat of copycat flammable panties.
Still, there are those who give credence to the rumors.
"I wouldn’t write it off," Robert Downey Jr. said in an issued statement. "When Tom [Hiddleston] walks down the street, I’ve seen the puffs of smoke."
Jeremy Renner could not be reached for comment.